It never ceases to amaze me on how some people seem to revel in doing things the hard way, or making excuses as to why they cannot do something at all.
If it is losing weight – why not just exercise and consume more calories than you ingest? No special medications or expensive programs.
If it is quitting smoking – why not just come up with a plan and stick to it. Some may feel the need for additional aids, and that is OK, but the thing is, you need to really want to quit.
If it is financial – why not just develop a budget where your “comes in” exceeds your “goes out.” This make take some effort to focus on the higher interest debts first, and cutting out some things that are “wants” but not “needs”.
If it is responding to a simple request from someone you are angry with – why not just look at the options and pick one. A lot of negative energy finding reasons to not cooperate, or simply ignoring the request is counterproductive and will only result in more resentment and anger. It is easier in the long run to find a way to resolve differences than to keep up the charade of partial cooperation.
I realize that this may be perceived as an oversimplification. But I ask, are your objections real – or are they “victim” statements. Sometimes, people expend more energy rationalizing why they can’t or won’t do something, than they would spend just getting started. What it really comes down to is mindset. You first need to really want to achieve the results of the action. Then, you must have the discipline to sit down and develop a plan. This plan must include some early and achievable goals, to get quick victories. This may take some research, but that makes it more likely to be achieved than just “winging it”.
skip to main |
skip to sidebar
Followers
Blog Archive
-
▼
2008
(256)
-
▼
April
(16)
- Science Scene - Earth Day 2008, Part Deux
- Prime Directive
- Long Range Planning :o)
- Science Scene - Earth Day 2008
- Vitamin D :o)
- Brain Freeze :o)
- Spring Has Arrived!
- Rainbow Treasures :o)
- Science Scene
- The Hard Way
- Don't Get "Hooked" on Me
- Lazy Leisure :o)
- Financial Forum
- Dr. Phil and Raising Children
- Who Do You Laugh At?
- Science Scene
-
▼
April
(16)
9 comments:
Sometimes it takes a bit of ( or even a great deal of) psychotherapy to understand why they continue to sabotage themselves.
It is not always as simple as it appears. I have a patient who is not only on the diet roller coaster but irresponsible with money. There appear to be many passive aggressive behaviors involved, but believe me, there is so much more self loathing. I deal with so many people with these issues, actually. As irritating as it appears to outsiders, it is actually quite painful to those who are dealing with them. As I re read you post I thought I would add that for many of these people you reference, it is not always lack of motivation but a feeling of " I am not worthy" i.e. low self-esteem. Many do not feel they deserve to be happy. Many have had such abuse in their histories...even the ones you may have grown up with and thought their life was great. We don't always know what happens in someon else's home when we go home for dinner.
I try always to untangle myself from others' issues and realize it is so not about me....even when they try to make it about me!
L
It does sound too simple, but you are absolutely right. When I decided (firmly and with resolve) to quit smoking after 40 years of a pack-a-day habit I set the day that it would happen and the night before that day I trashed what smokes I had. The next morning, I simply didn't smoke and haven't since. That was three years ago. Not to say that it was easy or that I was pleasant to be around for a while. Thanks for the entry. The bottom line is you have to really want it, whatever it is.
Joyce
Joyce - congrats on quitting smoking. We did the same thing, but ours was only a 30 year habit:o)
Sanguinelioness - thanks for your perspective and thoughts :o)
I think that mental illness is an entirely different matter from what you wrote about. The day-to-day struggles that you mentioned, such as quitting smoking, losing weight, etc., aren't usually tied up with such issues. Sometimes it's just a matter of willpower and deciding to NOT continue a bad habit. Sometimes it's just knowing that continuing to balk at what you know is right is accomplishing nothing.
Beth
Congrats on being a "Guest Editor Pick"
Yasmin
I enjoyed reading this post, it's so true but sometimes I think some people just like complaining.
Simplicity is never as easy as it seems. Yes, I'm aware that was an oxymoronic statement. In all fairness there are quite a few people who have mental stumbling blocks who can't quite grasp willpower. As in anything that is long standing, it doesn't often go as quickly as is desired. If it took 30 years to build a habit, many times it won't be cured in a day.
I truly do believe the first hurdle is - you have to WANT the change in order to make it a reality. If you approach it half assed of course the results will match your approach. I had to want to change my lifestyle in order to give up drinking and smoking. Until I crossed that bridge it wasn't going to happen. By the way I've passed my 6 months mark with the no smoking. I've gotten to the point of not being able to stand the smell of it.
Wonderful post all in all. Unfortunately not everything can be handled with a Forrest Gump outlook on life. By the way congratulations on being guest editor pick. You were a wonderful choice. (Hugs) Indigo
Oh, what an EXCELLENT entry. I just love it. And congrats, bucko, for being chosen a Guest Editor's Pick!
Krissy :)
http://journals.aol.com/fisherkristina/SometimesIThink
Excellent entry! You're right!
Congrats on being chosen as one of Dan's guest editor picks!
Martha ~
i have to agree to disagree with you........partially. yes, millions of people all over the world make excuse after excuse for not doing something. but, just as it is wrong to say that all mexicans want a free ride, or all black people are lazy, or all irishmen are drunks, it is wrong to judge someone and lump them into one category for not being able to break free of certain bondages. i used to think women who stayed in abusive relationships deserved what they got for not asserting themselves and getting the heck out of it. then i did some research, as well as met several women who were in that position. i have never been in an abusive relationship. i have never smoked. i don't drink. so i don't know what it is like to be addicted to any of those. but i cannot judge others as a whole, because each individual person has their own story, and though it may or may not fit into your beliefs, it is their personal trials and something they have to deal with on their own terms.
but, as always, everyone is entitled to their opinion.
be blessed,
regina
Post a Comment