This entry is inspired by comments to my Hypocritic Oath? entry by <http://journals.aol.com/karensull12>. Thanks for the comment :o) “I admit to being hypocritical about some things and honestly don't know if it's possible not to be at least sometimes.... I am suspicious of people who say they NEVER lie or cheat or do anything wrong mostly because I don't think it's possible.”
I agree that we all do things that can make us seem like a hypocrite. What gets my goat is when a person or organization makes a big deal about defining their core values, and then does something that is one-eighty from that stated position. It makes you wonder what drove the contrary behavior – was it a lie (deception with the intent to deceive), delusional (belief that is either false, fanciful or derived from deception), or just a momentary lapse [of reason? <LOL>].
That does not mean that we do not occasionally do something that causes hurt feelings. It really is a question of why? For me, this can be broken down into three simple categories [KISS].
1. Unintentional. Pretty self-explanatory. I know that in my case, I have hurt my wife’s feelings due to my teasing; there is a time and place for humor (most of the time for me), but at times it can cross the line.
2. Intentional – White Lies. This can take multiple forms, answering a simple question with the response you know the other person wants to hear, stretching the truth because it is the easiest path, partial answers that omit information that contradicts another’s position. The key here is that the intent is to benefit yourself, and/or the recipient, by avoiding hurt feelings.
3. Intentional - Mean. There are times when people intentionally try to hurt. This is something I try to avoid. Although, I have to admit, on the rare occasion it is just too easy to reach out and tweak somebody, especially if their behavior is over the top. However, this takes a lot of negative energy. Furthermore, I believe in the basic goodness of people, and to go through life otherwise just wastes a lot of energy that could be used for more purposeful things.
So I say, whenever possible, take the “high road” by avoiding Category 3 as much as possible.
2 comments:
I agree with you. I guess it has just been my experience that the people who protest the most about hypocrites or liars or whatever are the biggest offenders. It's like people cannot simply admit to being human and therefore, flawed--which is what we all are--there is no escaping that.
I try to keep my momentary lapses to a minimun and sometimes, I am successful at it.
Thank you for reading and responding again. Ken (a.k.a. Bucko) :o)
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